Closing the store

Sometimes in life we step up to the plate and make the difficult decisions that transform our lives, other times we sit on the bench until we’re forced to make a change.  Baseball metaphors aside my life is in a transitional state where I need to change in both my personal and professional life to find happiness.

I was working in the same store for 12 years in a state of complacency, not happy but too scared to make a move.  After working my way up the ranks I ended up in the position I never thought I would have, store manager, only to hear 5 months later that my store would be closing.  Between telling employees they would not have a job in a few months to taking apart a place that had been my second home for 12 years the process was physically and emotionally exhausting.

Toward the end, the job was comparable to the end of a bad relationship.  I was miserable but still trying to hang onto the idea of what we had in the beginning when times were good even though deep down I knew things would never be the same between us.  I attempted to stay optimistic but was becoming increasingly bitter and resentful of the company making the decision to move on rather than transfer.  In the end it was a learning experience but one that I hope I never have to go through again.

The store closed one week ago and without a job for the first time in 16 years I find myself in a strange state of mind.  I feel restless and anxious but I’m trying different things to adapt to the recent change.  My brain is struggling to recognize I do not have to worry about the store anymore and can relax for the holidays.  I’m an optimist at heart and believe everything happens for a reason so I know this is the path I’m meant to be on at this point in my life.  Writing about this transitional period will hopefully help me to remain active and perhaps even find some clarity during this new chapter.

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