It’s easy to make a plan but sometimes more difficult to stick with that plan. As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before the plan when I lost my job was to stick it out through at least the end of January. This would give me time to pay off some bills, pack up my apartment, and regroup before jumping into the next chapter. My problem with this plan right now is my anxiety is becoming overwhelming.
I can’t shake the feeling that I’m forgetting something or that I constantly need to be doing something. I know part of this is simply breaking out of the groove of going to work 5 days a week. I’m trying to not make everyday feel like a weekend day, part of this is just to help make sure I know the day of the week and the date (might sound silly but when you’re not working it’s easy to lose track of the days of the week).
One of my problems is an all or nothing approach to life, which I’m beginning to see is not always the most effective. If I decide to clean out my office I then want to clean out my closet, my kitchen, etc. all at the same time. Basically instead of doing things in bite size pieces that would help me complete tasks I’m trying to do everything at once and essentially accomplishing nothing.
Accomplishing nothing just adds to my anxiety so I’m going to use this week to get back on track. I was doing well cleaning out my apartment but by trying to take on everything at once I hit a road block and stopped. I’m almost done with my homemade Christmas presents but need to get a couple packages shipped out plus the gifts I was so confident about I’m beginning to doubt.
*As a side note: When did Christmas begin to feel like a competition? It might just be me but I can rationally remind myself that Christmas is not about the gifts but still worry that people will be disappointed by my gifts. I wish I could escape but it’s a challenge for me to relax and not dwell on my worries.*
Although I need to relax I see the benefits of certain parts of my routine especially when it comes to sleeping. In the beginning I was maintaining my bed time and wake up time but now I’ve allowed myself to stay up later and sleep later or even just laying in bed longer in the morning. I think not feeling well rested is contributing to my anxiety, also laying in bed watching TV until 10 or 11 in the morning is not contributing to my productivity.
I’m doing well with eating and exercise but as I wrap up my Christmas presents I need to get back into some sort of routine. Today I’m putting together a reasonable to-do list for the week so next week I can enjoy an anxiety-free Christmas!