Impatience and Motivation

I took yesterday off from the gym and felt guilty (I suffer from chronic guilt) about it at first until I realized I went Thursday-Sunday, so taking Monday off was not unreasonable.  I used the time to refine my cover letter (thanks to my mom for helping me edit) so I could apply for a job I’m very interested in right now.  I’ve now applied for about half a dozen jobs with varying levels of success.

Statuses are either “application under review”, “referred to hiring manager” or “application received”, so there is more progress on some than others.  I continue to check my email obsessively and was jumping with excitement when one of my applications was referred to a hiring manager because it was one I applied for on a long shot with no real hope.  Each forward move of my applications helps me feel more confident in my abilities and gives me hope.

Unfortunately my professional life is not exempt from my impatience and I have to remember that the process takes time. Companies may have large numbers of applicants to get through and they look carefully to find the best applicants.   I’m so impatient to accomplish the major changes in my life, weight loss, career, and moving that I have to remind myself (constantly) that progress is positive and success does not happen overnight.

On the flip side of being impatient I also struggle to stay motivated in all my current endeavors and sometimes worry about losing momentum.

I almost talked myself out of going to the gym today but I chose to ignore all my excuses.  I realized I didn’t want all my progress defeated by my unwillingness to throw on some clothes and head to the gym for an hour.  I’m 9 days away from the 21 days it takes to form a habit so I’m not quitting plus working out today felt amazing and I’m not giving up.

I created a motivational display on my closet door a while ago but today I updated it with some new quotes that reflect my current goals and where I want to go.  I’m hoping this will help me out on the mornings I’m struggling to get moving.


It also helps to know I’ve publicly declared my goals to get healthy all over the internet, both here and on social media, so if I spontaneously quit I’ll let people down but more importantly I’ll let myself down.  I know I’m capable of so much I just have to be patient and stay motivated.

I read a quote yesterday that said “I am obsessed with becoming a woman comfortable in her skin”, which has become my new favorite motivational quote because that is exactly what I want, to be healthy, confident, amazing, accomplished, beautiful, and most importantly to know I am all of these things and more.


Am I a morning person?  Kind of.

Is my body up and moving around by 8AM most days?  Yes.

Am I awake and ready for human interaction?  No.

I’ve always had a desire to be a morning person, one of those people who jump out of bed in the morning declaring what a great day it’s going to be as they rise with a smile ready to take on the day.

This is not me….I am a get up and feed the cat then crawl back into bed kind of person, unfortunately once I start thinking about my day it’s impossible for me to get back to sleep.  This still doesn’t mean I’m ready to get up, so I lay in bed and read or play on my phone for 30 minutes before finally making an attempt to join the world.

I’m working out in the morning so once I’ve finally dragged myself away from the warmth of my bed I try to get dressed as quickly as possible because I know once I have shoes on there’s no turning back.  I’m following the advice of “work out in the morning before your brain figures out what you’re doing.”  Once I’m in the car I turn up Pitbull radio or rap strength training to get myself pumped up for the gym.

By the time I arrive I’m a bit more awake but still not ready to actually talk to anyone beyond a mumbled, “good morning” or a half smile when someone attempts to initiate contact.

If you encounter me too early in the morning I’m not rude it’s just early and my brain is still waking up.  I’m also prone to completely zoning out until I’m awake, which is why cardio days are my favorite.

Step on machine, turn on TV, keep legs and feet moving but strength days I have to make adjustments to the machine and try to remember how each one works. Thankfully after 2 weeks I’m getting the hang of them minimizing the thought process (except for this one stupid ab crunch machine that just makes me feel awkward when I use it, hopefully I can catch one of the trainers tomorrow to ask about it).

It helped that today the sun was shining (see featured pic), a rare occurrence in the middle of winter around here.  Most days it’s so gray it’s tough to tell if it’s actually morning.

I don’t know if I’ll ever become a real morning person but I know I like working out in the morning so I guess I’ll just have to keep faking it.

**As you can see I changed my theme back to my original theme because I like the layout better and think it’s more reflective of my personality**  Happy reading! 🙂

Saturday Workout

I took Wednesday off this week so I forced myself out of bed and into the gym on a Saturday.  Weekends don’t always feel like weekends because I’m not working but for some reason my body seemed to know it was Saturday and we should not be at the gym.

I did fine going through my weight training but once I stepped on the treadmill I found myself staring at the time.  When I looked down and saw only 3 minutes had gone by I knew getting to 30 minutes was going to be a challenge.

I found a few things that kept me going, a show I wanted to watch on TV (Best New Restaurant, those who can’t cook love to watch those who can), the girl jogging beside me (Thank you random gym stranger), and mixing up the speeds and inclines every 5-10 minutes.

It might make some people laugh but I’m still a bit scared of the treadmill, so I’m hesitant to start jogging.  I think my lack of coordination and seeing too many Youtube clips of people falling has created a fear.  Like any fear I’m learning to conquer it and today I did a bit of jogging.  It was a slow pace barely above a power walk but it was progress.

Hooray for progress!

I’m going back to the gym tomorrow because this week I’m going to try working out 6 days a week to see how it goes.  I’m trying to listen to my body and find the balance between pushing myself and pushing myself too far.  The majority of my day right now does not involve a ton of activity so I’m not worried about overdoing it.

I have an addictive personality and some who know me worry I will go too far with my desire to get healthy.  If I was working out this much with my previous eating habits it would be concerning because I was only eating one or two meals a day plus binge eating.  I think having the eating part established before I started working out was helpful.

Driving home from the gym today I was planning out what I was going to eat today because I know I’m not going to reach my goals without food.  I know my body is capable of so much more and I’m just trying to see what I can do, so I will reassure anyone with concerns that all is well.  🙂

Now it’s time to relax and enjoy the rest of the day.  It’s a cold, rainy day so I think it’s the perfect day to curl up under my heated blanket with a cup of tea and a book.