No Hawaii for me :(

Some people I know are in Hawaii for vacation.  I had the opportunity to go and would have only had to pay for airfare plus whatever I wanted to do when I was in Hawaii so the decision to not go was not an easy one.  If the store wouldn’t have closed I definitely would be kicking back on the beach with a coconut drink right now but sometimes life happens.

I went back and forth trying to decide what I should do and it definitely wasn’t easy when most of the people I talked to were very pro-Hawaii (of course, who discourages a trip to Hawaii?).

The pros are that I’m not working so I didn’t have to worry about getting the time off work and when might I have this kind of free time again?  I technically have the money.  I can always job hunt when I get back.  It’s Hawaii.

The cons are that I’m not working so I don’t have a steady income.  Some people encouraged me to find a job before I left but I didn’t want to find a job, move, then go on a week long vacation plus I’m sure most employers aren’t fans of new employees asking for a week off.

Part of me thinks it would have been fine but I didn’t want to take the chance of finding a great job and either risking it for a vacation or losing money on plane tickets because I couldn’t take the time off.  People reassured me that any employer would understand but as a manager I can tell you that if someone said in an interview that they would need a week off right away I would be hesitant, especially if I needed to fill that position right away.  Sometimes I hate being responsible.

Last week when I talked to a friend I finally came to the conclusion that I was not in a good place to take a vacation.  Who wants to go on vacation when they’re wondering when they’re going to find a job?  I also would have been worried about spending too much money and I know from experience going on vacation when you’re worried about money does not make for a positive experience.

It’s a bit surreal being unemployed.  I’ve kind of fallen into a routine but the thought that I don’t have money coming in right now is always on my mind.  I did finally apply for unemployment so that will help with the bills and I’m still in a good place but that doesn’t always stop the anxiety.  I’m applying for jobs that I really want right now but in a few weeks I’m going to have to swallow my pride and start applying for jobs that might not be my first choice but would get me moving in the right direction.

Basically while I stare out the window at the gray cold I can’t help but think about what I might be doing in Hawaii right now….I push these thoughts aside because I know I made the right choice and there will be other vacations in my future.

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