I’m glad this week is almost over because it’s been a struggle. I’ve been exhausted all week but there’s a part of me that doesn’t like to stop, doesn’t like to admit that I’m tired or stressed or overwhelmed because that would be admitting weakness. I know it sounds a bit crazy but I’m a stubborn person, the short person who will build a ladder out of boxes rather than ask for help, the person who will keep going even though her body is screaming for a break.
I had a couple things happen today that reminded me the importance of listening to my body. I was exhausted this morning but convinced myself to go the gym for a quick cardio session, 30 minutes, in and out, quick and easy. Once I got there I decided I wanted to push myself so was going at a more intense pace for longer periods of time. I allowed my competitive, driven, slightly crazy self to come out, when I began to feel lightheaded. Uh oh, I envisioned passing out on the treadmill and it wasn’t pretty so I slowed myself down.
My heart rate was pretty high so I slowed way down and paused for a minute, drank some water, then finished my last 1/4 mile at a mild pace. Done at the gym I didn’t feel great but I had errands to run that simply couldn’t wait one more day, I needed refills for my wax fragrance warmer and sandwich bags today. Arriving home I had laundry all set out to go so I did that but upon carrying in the laundry to my bedroom I noticed the cat had thrown up all over the floor.
That was my breaking point. I was done.
I always say if I don’t cry every so often I will explode and today proved that I need that emotional release every so often otherwise I’ll just break down randomly. I cried as I cleaned up the carpet, gave the cat medicine, took a shower then sat down to write because usually writing usually puts things back into perspective for me. Bad things happen, sometimes a series of bad things happen all in one day or one week but they eventually pass making way for the good things.
No one likes to appear weak or unstable so it’s challenging when we start to feel overwhelmed, stressed, or just tired. We put on brave, happy faces and continue on with our days shoving all the stress and worry to the back instead of just giving in a bit to the bad day. I’m not saying wallow in bad feelings all the time but most often you let the bad day run it’s course, allow yourself a good cry, and then you move on to tomorrow.
It’s tough to just admit “I don’t feel good”, “I’m tired” or “I’m super stressed out and I need to take a break”.
Well, I’m admitting it today. I’m giving in to my tired body and mind. I don’t always do this but I am admitting defeat today and giving in to my bad day but I think this is necessary to recharge and I’ll be back stronger tomorrow.