I didn’t really admit defeat yesterday or give myself a break. I finished my post, wrote a new cover letter, reorganized my pantry, scrubbed some spots on the carpet, did laundry, worked out, did some shopping, planned some meals for the week, searched for jobs for an hour, checked my email every 15 minutes to see if any jobs had contacted me, basically just proceeded as normal.
I woke up at 4 this morning and seriously considered going to work out even though my eyes were so tired I couldn’t even imagine trying to put in my contacts. I decided instead to read for a bit and finally fell back asleep a little before 6 (despite the people in the upstairs apartment trying to stomp through the floor, pretty sure they were almost successful). My alarm went off at 8 so I got up to feed the cat then in a complete deviation from my normal routine I went back to bed and so did James the cat (good thing about cats as long as they get fed they completely support sleeping in).
I ended up sleeping until about 10:30, which is the latest I’ve slept in a long time. Some of my younger friends talk about sleeping until well into the late morning or even early afternoon hours but I’ve found I’m just not usually able to sleep that late anymore. I laid in bed for a while watching TV before finally making myself get up but not before seriously considering going back to sleep.
I finally decided if I wanted to be able to go to sleep tonight at a decent hour I needed to get up plus I was already starting to feel some guilt slipping in for laying around in bed all morning. I decided to treat this like an actual day off, yes similar to my vacation from unemployment, I am taking a day off from unemployment, a real day off.
Even though I am physically making positive changes in my life, mentally I’m starting to feel run down. I worry that with my professional life I’m settling into a routine and not pushing as hard as I need to so I can get where I want to be in the next couple months. The end of March was my ultimate final deadline for myself to get out of here and with February flying by I need to redefine my goals.
I’m an optimistic person but I’m starting to feel a bit adrift in my life so I’m taking this weekend to get myself refocused.
For today, I gave myself a deadline of one to get anything I want to get done on the computer then I am turning off, leaving my cell phone in the bedroom, and enjoying the rest of my day off.
Hope everyone has a great weekend! 🙂