Pause

Talking to a friend the other night I mentioned I feel like my life is on pause.
She asked me about dating and I said I didn’t want to meet someone then move.
She asked about getting a temporary job and I said I wish I’d done that 3 months ago.

I’m waiting to do so many things until I move but in the meantime I’m starting to feel like I’m wilting away so not one to sit back and feel sorry for myself I’m writing my way through some options.

February is going by pretty quick and end of March was kind of my final ultimate deadline to get out of here plus I need to give a 30 day notice on my apartment.  In an effort to not have to pay for two places or end up here for another month I need to start making some decisions within the next couple weeks.

My thought was always to find a job before I move so I don’t find a job someplace and end up with a ridiculous daily commute.  This makes sense especially in a metropolitan area where a 10 mile commute can take an hour instead of the 10 minutes it takes me now since I’m in the middle of nowhere.  Actually I was ready to just up and move a month ago when everyone advised against this for the reason above but all my instincts are telling me to move.

I’m starting to think I’m sitting here unemployed, job searching, when I could just as easily move and sit in a new city unemployed, job searching.  I could also become more familiar with my new city and state.  I would be closer to some of my friends and family (further from some family which makes me sad) so I would have more social opportunities (I’m becoming a hermit).  I also have a couple people closer to the area where I want to work so I could always live with them while I figure things out but I really struggle with that because I love having my own space.  On the other hand I’m realizing I have to give up some things to make progress, and a bit of personal space is not the worst thing I could lose.

I’m going home this week so I’m hoping to get some insight and advice from my family but ultimately the decision is mine. Sometimes I really wish life did have some kind of road map or maybe if I just had a crystal ball I could peer into to see what my next step should be….that would make things much easier, of course it would also make things a bit more boring.

I know everything is going to come together but I also know life changes don’t just fall out of the sky and if I’m not happy here I need to follow my instincts that are telling me it’s time to move.  In the next couple weeks I might be incorporating more apartment hunting into my job hunting time because I’m sick of being on pause.

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