Days like this I feel like a contradiction to myself. I write about optimism, confidence, and strength but today I suffered a minor breakdown.When this happens I have to remind myself that I’m human.
Just because I feel sad doesn’t mean I’m not still optimistic.
Just because I feel doubt doesn’t mean I’m not confident.
Just because I cry doesn’t mean I’m not strong.
I’m sure others go through this no matter how strong you are when you combine several events or factors you break. My combination was: Not feeling good + lack of sleep + sick pet + anxiety = emotional overload. This is unfortunately a pretty common combination for my breakdowns. I’ve made the decision to sleep today but I also to write not for sympathy but simply to clear my head (writing is my therapy).
Last night I was not feeling great so even though I wanted to watch one more episode of “Lost” (my latest Netflix binge) I took myself to bed super early, unfortunately James the cat was also not feeling well but instead of just going to bed he decided to throw up all over my bedroom floor. Cleaning up after him I feel nausea wash over me, I won’t go into details but I’ll just say it was not a fun night, definitely not the early bedtime, restful night of sleep I envisioned.
I spent the night tossing and turning. I love my cat (see adorable featured image) and every time he’s sick I worry he won’t recover so I get a bit emotional. You can read about his condition in this post. I’d already planned to drop him off at the vet for boarding so I take him in and while we’re checking him in he makes a depressingly sad noise that hits me in the soul. I hold back tears and leave him in the capable hands of the amazing staff at my vet’s office knowing they always take care of him.
Lack of sleep plus the whimpering cat noise has me crying on the way home then coming home and curling up on the couch in a weepy mess. Watching a few minutes of news sets me off again. I turn off the TV and even though I’m wallowing in misery I decide to seek out a source of happiness so I turn on my computer and start writing.
Anybody else think having a good cry every so often is healthy? I hate days like this but I’ve always said if I don’t cry every so often I’ll just explode. For myself, I feel like I need that emotional release sometimes otherwise everything just builds up.
I’m going to drive home early tomorrow morning because it’s going to be a busy and super fun 3 day weekend for me. Hope everyone has a great weekend!