I work hard at staying positive because I think if I allowed myself to feel the negative too much I would lose all my motivation.
I received a rejection email for a job this morning.
I also received one on Monday.
I received another one about an hour ago.
No matter how positive my outlook is, it’s nearly impossible to not allow myself to feel something when this happens in the same way I do when I find out I’m on the eligible list.
On the eligible list: Hope, excitement, optimism about the future, belief in my abilities, happiness, confidence.
Rejection email: Doubt, anger, sadness, questioning my choices, hopelessness.
I realize this is just the nature of job hunting especially trying to break into a field where I have no experience but it’s still frustrating and a bit disheartening; however, I refuse to allow myself to wallow in pity all day.
It’s not my style.
This is not to say I didn’t give myself an hour to feel whatever I was feeling. I took a super long shower, cried, laid on my bed and hid under the covers for a bit hiding from the world before I told myself I needed to get up to make a plan. Hiding from the world is not going to solve anything or keep me on track but I can see how easy it would be to choose this option. I have an email just for work related or volunteer work so when I see I have a new email I get so excited then when it’s a rejection I feel so sad. As I skim through reading “thank you” blah blah blah “not selected for an interview” blah blah blah “encourage you to apply again” my heart sinks. Rejection is never easy in any aspect of life and it definitely brings me down a bit but I’m hanging onto my optimism with both hands.
The best part is finally hearing something even if it’s not what I want to hear. Some of these jobs I applied for in February, placed on the eligible list in early March, then just heard about not being selected for an interview. I still have tons of applications out there on the eligible list or with the hiring manager that I’m still waiting to hear from so I know all is not lost.
Despite the fact that I received one more “the position has been filled” email while writing this post I forced myself to apply for 2 more jobs today even though I didn’t want to because some part of my mind questioned the point of applying. I ignored that part of my mind and listened to the part that said the more I put myself out there the more likely I am to find something.
In between writing today I’ve been planning a trip to Vegas next month with my best friend and a trip to Seattle/Portland next weekend with friends so there’s no shortage of goodness in my life. I’m continuing to stay busy and living my life.
I just have to accept that life includes both good days and bad days, unfortunately today has been one of the bad ones but I’m sure tomorrow will be better. Actually, today is not even close to over so the day could totally turn around so I think I’ll reserve my judgement on today until tomorrow 😉