Fear of Disappointment

I have a severe fear of disappointing people but I’m doing my best to not let that fear consume me and stop me from living my life.  This weekend I’m seeing several friends who haven’t seen me for months and I’m worried they’ll be disappointed that I haven’t really lost any weight.  I talk all the time about eating better and working out so I’m worried when they see me they’ll be like “Haven’t you been working out for months?”

I have been working out for months but I would lose focus on my eating or working out.  I’d slip back into old habits or spend a whole weekend inactive.  This whole transition is far from over and while it’s been a mostly positive experience, overhauling your lifestyle is not without its’ struggles.

I continue to evolve as I find out what works for me and what doesn’t work for me.  I try new things but I also fail sometimes. I give into temptations but am also better at resisting.  With the help of the trainer I’ve been able to learn new exercises so I can push myself more and I am finally seeing change but it’s slow.

I disregarded the advice of many and kept my scale.

I completely rebelled against all the advice and weigh myself all the time, well not all the time but I do weigh myself whenever I want but I have to write it down.  I think writing it down all the time allowed me to see for myself just how much the number can fluctuate throughout the day, especially in the beginning when I was weighing myself 2-3 times a day (Crazy, I know).  Oddly since I started I find the number affects me less and I’m less drawn to the scale.

Now it’s just a number.

I weigh myself at the gym once every week to 2 weeks and that’s the only one I give any real attention since its just like the one at the doctors office.  My scale has weighed me at 15lbs heavier and once 50lbs lighter so I don’t have tons of faith in it.  I also do measurements weekly so I do track progress but I’m not obsessing.  I’m learning slow and steady is the way to go.

The weight is coming off but it’s taking time and that okay.  I’m learning slow and steady is the way to go.  A weigh-in at the gym shows I’m down about 5 lbs with clothes and shoes (might be a bit awkward to strip down at the gym o_O ). Since I last measured I’ve lost another inch off my waist.  I know I’m getting stronger, healthier, and faster.

I just had to remind myself of the progress I’ve made.  The reality is the friends I have love me regardless of my weight and will be proud of my little accomplishments.  I just have to stop worrying and enjoy the weekend because despite the rainy/possibly snowy weather it’s gonna be a good one! 🙂

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

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3 comments

  1. Pingback: The Slow Path | Transitions in my Life
  2. Makenzie Beardsley · April 10, 2015

    I love this post! I struggle with the fear of disappointment, but then we have to remember why we are doing it in the first place, for ourselves! Take it each day at a time. You got this girl!

    Liked by 1 person

    • daisy9979 · April 13, 2015

      Thanks for reading! Your words are so true! It’s tough for me to remember this journey really is for myself and shake off my fear of disappointment but I’m getting there. Thanks for the kind words and support! 🙂

      Like

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