The progress has been slow and steady but the weight that has come off has actually stayed off. I weigh myself almost every day and the one trend I’ve seen is the number is staying down. From my heaviest I’m down 7lbs, which is not much but the fact that it’s staying off is the important part. I do need to do an official weigh in at the gym or buy batteries for my scale because I don’t have complete faith in it right now. The last couple days it’s been acting like the Biggest Loser scale where it goes from a super high number to a low number to everything in between.
In the past I’ve lost weight but always had it creep right back up mostly because I gave up on what I was doing to lose the weight in the first place, mostly because I placed myself on a restrictive diet with unrealistic expectations. Now that I’m making permanent changes in the way I eat I’m finally seeing progress and changes in my body. I lost another inch off my hips and bust. I’m starting to see changes in my face.
I sometimes think this should all be going much faster. I should be losing more weight. I should be in much better shape at this point. I worry about disappointing the people around me. I should be doing more.
I was thinking about all of this last week when I decided that yes, I should be doing more but the best way for me to make this change and have it stick with me is to make it a gradual change. I try to do a little more every week in my workouts and in my eating. I’m taking 20 years of bad habits and changing my life.
I’m trying to change my mindset about being active.
I’m trying to improve my relationship with food.
I make progress every day in the little things.
When i decided to go for a walk after dinner instead of having a snack.
When I reached for the bag of tortilla chips then decided to reach over them to grab an orange.
When I pack fruit and almonds for my road trips instead of stopping to buy chips and Twizzlers.
When I go on trips I try to plan how I’m going to get in workouts and walks.
When I find myself missing the gym after a few days.
When I would rather cook a meal at home than eat fast food.
When I look in the mirror and don’t hate who I see.
It’s all these little things that make me realize I’m on the right path even though it’s the slow path. I’m gaining back my confidence, my health, and my life.
I write often about how challenging this time of my life is right now but I also think it’s going to be one of the most rewarding. Even though I have doubts, fear, and anger I truly believe this is a pivotal time in my life, a time where my future will shift depending on the choices I make so I need to continue to make the right choices but also remember to enjoy the journey.