Road trips tend to make me anxious because I’m a worrier. I’m the person wondering if she left the stove on, even though she didn’t use the stove all day, or if I left a window unlocked. Basically I worry that I left something on or open that will destroy my humble apartment, even if I triple and quadruple check everything.
I also think I’m living in a state of anxiety and worry right now. It’s usually under the radar but when something comes up it can be amplified and yesterday morning was one of those days.
Yesterday morning I was already feeling a bit anxious for my trip then as I walked into the bedroom after my shower I saw James the cat had thrown up on the floor. Now I’m anxious and feeling guilty for leaving him in boarding for the next few days. Since I know he has some stomach issues I try to reduce his stress before I leave by not even packing or anything until after I drop him off. Unfortunately sometimes he just knows, despite my best efforts he picks up on my anxiety.
I clean up, give him medicine, and instead of cancelling or postponing my trip decide if there’s any place for a sick cat it’s at the vet so, a bit teary eyed, I drop him off. I come home upset because I’m running behind the schedule I created in my mind.
That’s right, I have no appointment or scheduled time to be where I need to be but in my mind I was going to leave by 11AM so when I don’t drop him off until after 11 and have nothing packed I’m flustered….and hungry because all I ate was a banana this morning. I finally text my mom to let her know I won’t be leaving until the afternoon, give all my apologies, and she tells me “There’s no hurry. It’s take it easy day.”
That was exactly what I needed to hear because I had worked myself up into this weird anxious frenzy.
I finally tell myself “It’s okay”
It’s okay to sometimes take it easy.
It’s okay to not rush all the time.
It’s okay to not have a schedule for the day.
It’s okay to take some time off.
It’s okay to enjoy yourself.
More importantly, it’s okay to enjoy yourself even if your life is not perfect, even if you have things to work on, even if you feel like everything in your life is up in the air.
I loaded my stuff in the car, then I sat down, enjoyed my
breakfast brunch then took myself down the road to enjoy the weekend.
I know it’s not quite the end of the week but it is for me 😎 Hope everyone has a great weekend!!