Sloth-like Sunday

Here’s a confession for Sunday.  I’m still in my pajamas and haven’t left my apartment all day.  It’s been a truly lazy Sunday and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, actually it’s been a lazy 3 day weekend for me.  Thankfully, as seen in the picture, cats are good with lazy weekends 🐱

I realized this afternoon the partial reason why I’ve been in such a funk the last few days.  Last week I was texting friends, sending pictures, and no one was replying or they would reply after a few hours.  Why?  Because it was a Tuesday and they were at work but nonetheless I was disappointed when I wouldn’t hear back from everyone right away.

I fully recognize it’s a ridiculous thing to be annoyed or disappointed about because it’s not like they were ignoring me, they were working at their jobs like most people are in the middle of the day on a weekday.  To any friends or family reading this post I don’t think you intentionally ignore me (most of the time 😉 ).  I think it just made me feel left out and served as another reminder that I didn’t have a job.  I’ve mentioned before the end of the month is my most emotionally challenging time.

I think these lazy days, actually it’s more like a lazy week and a half, were beneficial.  I edited photos, watched TV, played video games (I’m terrible at video games but it was fun), and ate ice cream.  I had the best of intentions last week to make plans and a schedule for myself but I was a bit of slacker.  I have higher hopes for this week and I’m making plans for both work and play plus it’s the start of a whole new month.  I hope for an interview or something leading me closer to a job but I’m making plans to continue to enjoy my life.

Tomorrow I’m planning gym and a walk in a new place.  There’s another arboretum at the far end and across the street from the one I usually walk out so I’m going to check it out, heard it’s not as impressive but I love exploring new places. Last night I found a new path that basically serves as an extension for my current walking path, a nice paved loop that adds about another mile.  I’ve done alright walking but need to amp up the strength training.

I didn’t make it to the gym at all last week so I’ve made plans to go as often as possible this week to get myself back into the groove.  I’m going to set a goal to get in there at least 4 days starting tomorrow.  I’ve been doing some light strength training at home but I really need to get into the gym plus I’m paying for it so I need to use it.

I’m hoping this is the month I finally make some progress in the job department and I’ve broadened my search range to include areas I was ignoring in the beginning.  I’m even considering a part time job to get me by for now.  I have plans to spend tomorrow afternoon job searching and looking into some new leads plus looking into a local place for a possible volunteer opportunity.

I’m also trying to plan a time sometime this week between all the thunderstorms to head an hour out of town for a hike to some waterfalls.  I’m putting together a workout schedule with walks planned for different areas to mix it up and help keep me on track this week.

Admittedly last week I hit a very negative “what am I doing with my life?” roadblock.  Most of the time I can push through but last week my physical and emotional reaction was to shut down.  Today is the last day I stand behind that roadblock.  It’s a new week and a new month so I’m making plans to push forward 😀

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Social Media Social Anxiety

I can be a bit of a perfectionist with a constant fear of judgement.  I’m not going to psychoanalyze myself to try to understand where this fear comes from but instead I’m trying to find a way to overcome it because I’m starting to see how silly it can be in some instances especially as I delve deeper into the world of social media.

Let’s look at some of the social media platforms and my personal concerns

Instagram

Instagram isn’t bad because it’s usually just a quick “Thanks” or maybe describing where the picture was taken, no big deal I can handle that without pouring over it too much.  I do have trouble commenting on other people’s photos but I’m working to overcome that by making myself comment on at least one per day.

Facebook

Facebook I struggle to comment on the statuses or posts of people I haven’t seen since high school or was never super close to in the first place but I also try to make myself do that more often.  If someone posts something and I have an opinion or comment I put it out there then sometimes fret over what they might be thinking about it.

The other day a girl I went to high school with posted a pic of a waterfall and I wanted to know more about where it was at so I could check it out.  I knew she lived close to our hometown plus she does lots of hiking so I wouldn’t mind chatting with her some about hiking places in the area.  I finally commented and ended up learning about an area close to me plus another further north, as well as learning she lived down here growing up so she knows spots in this area.

Overall, a positive interaction, not scary maybe I’ll have to try it more often.

WordPress 

The wonderful world of blogging where interactions help us to continue to thrive.  When I first started someone would comment and I would panic. “What do I say?” “Who is this person?”  I waited an appropriate amount of time (usually at least 30 minutes, don’t want to seem too eager) then cautiously wrote the words “Thanks! 🙂 ” and waited to see what would happen.

I wish this was an exaggeration.  I’m better now especially with the people I interact with frequently.

Sometimes I hold myself back from commenting because I’m so afraid of saying something stupid or silly but it’s such an irrational fear because I’ve never (knock on wood) had any negative interactions online so I don’t know why my comment complimenting the author and maybe inviting them to check out something of mine would incite rage on their part.  I was inspired to write about this topic the other day when I read a blog post I really enjoyed and had written a post that related but I never want to seem too pushy or self-promoting but I really wanted to express my enjoyment of their writing and share my experience.

Isn’t that a large part of what the blogging community is about?  Enjoying the work of others, expressing that enjoyment, and sharing your own work.

I hesitated, watching the cursor blink in the window, and finally typed out some words then read them twice, three times, then spent 10 minutes debating whether or not to link back to my content before finally deciding to do it.  The amazing part is I survived with no hatred or rage from the blogger but a like and a comment on my post.

When I write about some of my struggles with this it seems silly but in my mind it’s a legitimate concern.  I know the concern stems from how easily the written word can be misconstrued.
Will they know I’m joking?  
Will they understand what I’m trying to say?  
Does a smiley face actually lighten the tone of what I said?  
I try to keep my life as drama free as possible so I don’t want to say something to spark an internet feud, nothing worse than having an argument through a keyboard. The other side is the part of me that wants to be liked and doesn’t want someone to think what I said was dumb or annoying.

I’m definitely getting better about it, spending less time reading and re-reading every word I write to someone in a comment.  I still spell check and read through a couple times but I do less of the waiting because I don’t want to seem too eager to reply or not commenting because I’m afraid of how my own thoughts will sound to another person.  I have to remind myself as a blogger I love comments so I assume other bloggers also like comments, maybe some don’t, but I enjoy the feedback and interaction.

As I mention in the beginning, I’m working on overcoming this weird social media social anxiety.  I think most people feel safer behind the keyboard but I sometimes feel more vulnerable.  People can still judge you but each time I find myself stressing out over typing the words “Great pics” on Facebook or writing a comment to a fellow blogger explaining why I enjo reading their words I ask, “What’s the worst that could happen?” They either like your comment, reply to your comment, or do nothing.

Now that I’ve read this through 10 times, tweaking and editing it’s time to share. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Does anyone else struggle with anxiety about online interactions?

How I Spent Yesterday…

I accepted my status yesterday as a grumpy bear, closed the blinds to block out the beautiful day, and curled up on the couch in front of the TV.  I was going to catch up on my DVR shows but, and this will illustrate just how grumpy and lazy I was feeling, I couldn’t find the remote for the cable box so I decided to watch Netflix so I wouldn’t have to try to find the other remote, which as I found this morning was on the floor next to the couch 🙄

I did manage to go through some of my pictures, do some editing and sorting but mostly my afternoon and evening were spent watching TV.  I watched a couple movies.  “Lucky”, which was a dark comedy.  I felt it needed a few tweaks to really make it a great movie but it was entertaining and quirky, which I like.

I also watched “Scenic Route” and this one I really enjoyed.  I love it when a movie can take minimal characters and backgrounds to create something amazing.  It’s two guys stranded in the desert but it goes beyond that exploring the evolution of their relationship and how this situation affects them.  I’m no movie critic but I enjoyed it and I love Josh Duhamel’s  mohawk 😉

I ended my Netflix marathon with a couple episodes of “Flashpoint”, which is my new obsession.  I love crime dramas and this is one of the best although some of the episodes can make me a little teary.   They do a great job showing the human side behind the people who have to make difficult decisions in criminal decisions and the people involved in the crimes.  Good show that I highly recommend just have a box of Kleenex handy 😥

I also indulged in food yesterday but tried to semi-healthy in my indulgences, except for the ice cream when I grabbed the pint and ate straight from the container instead of grabbing a small bowl.  I still grabbed the little tiny spoon that helps keep the portions under control so I only had one serving.  I keep little tiny spoons on hand and use those for ice cream and honey, it works for me.

I was craving pizza but bought mini pizza crusts and made my own personal pizza instead of ordering out, plenty of veggies but I also enjoyed cheese and pepperoni (it only took me 5 attempts to spell that correctly, sometimes I just keep trying before giving it over to spell check.  I don’t know why.) because that’s what I wanted.  I did eat the whole mini pizza even though I could have eaten half then had another bowl of salad to fill up but I didn’t because I wanted more pizza.

This morning I nervously stepped on the scale but it was okay.  Logically I knew it would be but there’s still some part of me that doesn’t understand one bad day is not going to cause all the weight to come back.

Today I woke up early to hit up the Farmer’s Market picking up more fresh eggs and spinach plus some dried apples. I love to try fresh local products and actually enjoy meeting the people who make them, such a fun experience.

My knee is still being a bit wonky today (it’s the best way to describe it and one of my favorite words) as I learned when I was walking around the market so I’m doing the ice and medicine thing again today.  It doesn’t feel injured, just sore so maybe some stretching  and a short walk because I can only handle so much down time but if it doesn’t feel better in the next couple days I might have to get it checked out.

I’m in a much better mood today.  The grumpy bear is gone for now 🐻  (I never thought I would have a reason to use that emjoi, didn’t realize it was more like a teddy bear but I’m going to use it anyways) It’s gonna be kind of a lazy Saturday, bit of job hunting, bit of napping, bit of photography business stuff, bit of eating, bit of TV watching, maybe dig the Xbox out, did I mention napping already? lol

Hope everyone is having and continues to have an enjoyable weekend! 😀