My intended rest day turned into a day of anxiety. I think the downtime allowed me to start thinking, which of course led to worrying. This is why I try to keep myself as busy as possible. If I sit around too much I start to think about all the things I should be doing but I never think of the 5 minute project…no, I start to worry about the impossibly large project.
Yesterday it was cleaning my apartment, not the daily upkeep cleaning but the “moving out of my apartment” cleaning. I wanted to pull out my refrigerator and stove to clean behind them, clean the ceiling fans, wipe down all the baseboards, clean the windows, scrub the bathroom, clean out my closet, clear off my desk so I can sell it (even though I’m still using it), pack up my books, basically everything you do when you move out.
The problem is when I’m in that weird anxious state my mind is going a million miles a minute so I want to do everything all at once. The list you see above are all the things I wrote down on a list for me to complete…..in one day and I made this decision around 2pm. I guess all of that would be feasibly possible to do in a day but I would have been cleaning until midnight. I lack the focus to do a single task then move onto the next task so I end up with a dozen half completed projects.
Today I still have a knot in my stomach but last night I wrote out a to-do list for today so I wouldn’t feel so scattered. Having a plan, even a loosely knit one, is necessary for me otherwise I’m all over the place. I’ve planned my meals, planned my workouts, and cleaned up the projects I started yesterday. I’ve always been a schedule person but since I haven’t been working it’s been hit and miss but I know I need to get back on track for my own sanity.
If I don’t pick the days I’m going to the gym it makes it easier to talk myself out of it.
If I don’t plan certain tasks for specific days I’ll never get anything done.
If I don’t plan my meals I’ll skip meals.
Armed with a plan I head forward with my week.
Today it was a nice walk and listing some more stuff to sell online.
*Small side story* I have a pair of cowboy boots I won in a promotion 10 years ago, they never fit and they’re not really my style so I’ve decided to sell them. They’re nice boots, expensive boots so I kept them even though I can’t wear them 😕 …….I finally reached a place where I realized keeping something I can’t use just because it’s expensive is silly especially if someone else can enjoy it plus I can make some money.
Next on my to-do list is to finalize my meals plan for the week so I can post that later this afternoon then it’s job searching and an hour of interview prep, which I don’t feel like doing but on the off chance that this is my week I want to be prepared.