Waiting for my Fairy Godmother….

When I first began working out I was enamored with the gym and in true obsessive personality fashion I wanted to be at the gym 5-6 days a week, now I’m more realistic with 3-4 days a week.  I still love the gym but I don’t want to live there so I’ve worked out 30-40 minute routines for strength training then heading to the great outdoors for cardio.

When the weather is nice I would much rather be walking on a trail or path enjoying nature than walking on the treadmill watching TV.  That’s just me and I’m lucky be in a place where I have both the time and the options.

I write about it all the time but I think it’s important in all aspects of life to find what works for you.

I spent so many years trying to adapt to the eating plans and workout routines of other people by completely dedicating myself to one option then feeling discouraged after failure.  This time around I didn’t set weight loss goals because I knew if I was eating better and working out more the weight loss would happen naturally.  I am losing weight, which is awesome and I celebrate my victories in this area but it’s still not my focus.

My focus remains on changing my habits rather than changing my image.

The unexpected part of changing my eating and work out habits was discovering parts of myself I thought were lost forever.  I would never admit it at the time but I’d resigned myself to a boring life.  I was a “someday” person, waiting for the moment when my fairy godmother would swoop down with her magic wand and whisk me away from my terrible job and boring life.  She would transform me into the person I always wanted to be, adventurous, active, skinny, fun, social, with an amazing job and tons of friends (When I write that out it makes me sound like I wanted to live in a beer commercial, lol).

I should have known there was no fairy godmother but I was living in a delusion where I would make grand plans in my mind but never take any steps to accomplish them until about 5 years ago when I went back to school to finish my degree. This was great and I was convinced this was the start of my grand adventure but I graduated and simply continued working at the same job.  I didn’t even look at or apply to new jobs…… 😕

I kept telling myself I needed to save more money so I would spend one more year at my job and really focus on my finances so I could move without feeling financially stressed.  Well, as these things often go, one year turned into four during which I did receive a couple promotions.  It was great but I knew in my heart I would never be happy working retail forever; however it was comfortable and I was saving money, right?  Not really.  I was trying but it was a half-hearted effort.

Looking back I was lacking so much in my life.

I was lacking the courage to change.
I was lacking the confidence to believe I was capable of change.
Most importantly, I was lacking the motivation to get off my ass and make change happen.

To quote the great Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it”

I was missing life.  Instead of making changes so I could start living the life I’ve always wanted and become the person I’ve always wanted to be I was waiting on some perfect storm of conditions or that fairy godmother to show up…maybe she was stuck in traffic 😉

Regret is natural and I regret missing out on so much of my life because I was lacking courage, confidence, and motivation but I’m also happy to report I am finally waking up and enjoying my life.  I still have stress, worry, and doubt (I write about it all the time) but for the most part life is pretty good.  I’m connecting with true friends and making new ones, finding a new career, working on a new hobby, exploring the world around me, changing my life, and in the process forging my own path to happiness.  I realize some people go their whole lives without finding their happiness but I know I’m not going to be one of those people.


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