Finding some Clarity

Today is one of those days where I feel like I could sleep all day.  Woke up at 6, went back to sleep until a little after 8 but forced myself to get up because I have things I wanted to get done today.

My plan was to park at the mall then walk across the street to a trail I drove past nearly every day for the last 14 years but never actually walked.  I thought making myself get up, have some coffee, move around would make me feel better but unfortunately I’m not feeling any better so I might just have to recognize today as a sick day.

That was written this morning and I really was resigned to to going back to bed right up until the moment I finally walked out the door.  I spent much of the morning trying to get myself moving.  I thought my motivation was going to be impossible to find but thankfully I found it.  I needed to pick up some more greeting cards at the craft store so I was already going to be at the mall.  I figured I would drive over there then just see how I felt.

Once I was outside I knew I wanted to follow through on my original plans and go explore.  I walked about 2 miles out of town before heading back.  Once I get started I always want to go further, around the next corner or one more mile.  I finally had to resist the voice in my head, “The next town is only 5 miles away and that’s not too far”.  Thankfully the voice of reason kicked in reminding me of last week’s excursion and that a 7 mile walk one way is a 14 mile round trip.

I’m gonna add it to my goals, maybe do a one way trip and recruit a friend to pick me up.  I’ll add it my list 🙂

I go through periods of calm and periods of anxiety about the future so I really need these walks to help clear my mind.  I believe in the power of the great outdoors.  When I’m outside exploring, taking pictures, walking without the noise of the world just the sounds of nature and my own footsteps on the path I’m in my calm, happy place.

I received some essay questions to answer for a job I applied for and I’ve been stressing all week over 3 simple questions. I worked myself up by amplifying the situation in my mind, working up these 3 questions to be the questions that would determine my future.  I kept trying to write my answers.  I like to write, so it should be easy but I was overthinking.

The long walk today really helped me clear my mind and by the time I arrived home I was ready to finish answering the questions.  I was finally at the place where I realized I’m answering these questions as honestly as possible and I either fit what they’re looking for or I don’t.  I know instead of being honest I was overthinking and trying to answer how they would want me to answer.

Now I understand I have to take this under consideration but if I’m just writing what they want to hear I’m not being true to myself.  I came home, shower, snack, then sat down to write.  The words came easier so I finished, did a proofread, read it out loud, then before I had time to pour over every word I sent them off.  It’s out of my hands now.

Now it’s more waiting.  It’s the start of a new week so we’ll see what this week has to bring.  It just dawned on me it’s Meal Plan Monday so I might be doing another Tuesday edition.  We’ll say I was a day off because of the holiday not because I completely forgot 😉


One comment

  1. lovetotrav · May 26, 2015

    Congrats for forcing yourself to get moving and working on your questions! Sometimes it can be so hard to do but you proved that once you do it, you are good to go and make it happen.

    Liked by 1 person

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