Social Media Social Anxiety

I can be a bit of a perfectionist with a constant fear of judgement.  I’m not going to psychoanalyze myself to try to understand where this fear comes from but instead I’m trying to find a way to overcome it because I’m starting to see how silly it can be in some instances especially as I delve deeper into the world of social media.

Let’s look at some of the social media platforms and my personal concerns

Instagram

Instagram isn’t bad because it’s usually just a quick “Thanks” or maybe describing where the picture was taken, no big deal I can handle that without pouring over it too much.  I do have trouble commenting on other people’s photos but I’m working to overcome that by making myself comment on at least one per day.

Facebook

Facebook I struggle to comment on the statuses or posts of people I haven’t seen since high school or was never super close to in the first place but I also try to make myself do that more often.  If someone posts something and I have an opinion or comment I put it out there then sometimes fret over what they might be thinking about it.

The other day a girl I went to high school with posted a pic of a waterfall and I wanted to know more about where it was at so I could check it out.  I knew she lived close to our hometown plus she does lots of hiking so I wouldn’t mind chatting with her some about hiking places in the area.  I finally commented and ended up learning about an area close to me plus another further north, as well as learning she lived down here growing up so she knows spots in this area.

Overall, a positive interaction, not scary maybe I’ll have to try it more often.

WordPress 

The wonderful world of blogging where interactions help us to continue to thrive.  When I first started someone would comment and I would panic. “What do I say?” “Who is this person?”  I waited an appropriate amount of time (usually at least 30 minutes, don’t want to seem too eager) then cautiously wrote the words “Thanks! 🙂 ” and waited to see what would happen.

I wish this was an exaggeration.  I’m better now especially with the people I interact with frequently.

Sometimes I hold myself back from commenting because I’m so afraid of saying something stupid or silly but it’s such an irrational fear because I’ve never (knock on wood) had any negative interactions online so I don’t know why my comment complimenting the author and maybe inviting them to check out something of mine would incite rage on their part.  I was inspired to write about this topic the other day when I read a blog post I really enjoyed and had written a post that related but I never want to seem too pushy or self-promoting but I really wanted to express my enjoyment of their writing and share my experience.

Isn’t that a large part of what the blogging community is about?  Enjoying the work of others, expressing that enjoyment, and sharing your own work.

I hesitated, watching the cursor blink in the window, and finally typed out some words then read them twice, three times, then spent 10 minutes debating whether or not to link back to my content before finally deciding to do it.  The amazing part is I survived with no hatred or rage from the blogger but a like and a comment on my post.

When I write about some of my struggles with this it seems silly but in my mind it’s a legitimate concern.  I know the concern stems from how easily the written word can be misconstrued.
Will they know I’m joking?  
Will they understand what I’m trying to say?  
Does a smiley face actually lighten the tone of what I said?  
I try to keep my life as drama free as possible so I don’t want to say something to spark an internet feud, nothing worse than having an argument through a keyboard. The other side is the part of me that wants to be liked and doesn’t want someone to think what I said was dumb or annoying.

I’m definitely getting better about it, spending less time reading and re-reading every word I write to someone in a comment.  I still spell check and read through a couple times but I do less of the waiting because I don’t want to seem too eager to reply or not commenting because I’m afraid of how my own thoughts will sound to another person.  I have to remind myself as a blogger I love comments so I assume other bloggers also like comments, maybe some don’t, but I enjoy the feedback and interaction.

As I mention in the beginning, I’m working on overcoming this weird social media social anxiety.  I think most people feel safer behind the keyboard but I sometimes feel more vulnerable.  People can still judge you but each time I find myself stressing out over typing the words “Great pics” on Facebook or writing a comment to a fellow blogger explaining why I enjo reading their words I ask, “What’s the worst that could happen?” They either like your comment, reply to your comment, or do nothing.

Now that I’ve read this through 10 times, tweaking and editing it’s time to share. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Does anyone else struggle with anxiety about online interactions?

Advertisements

13 comments

  1. Tony Burgess · May 31, 2015

    Social media can be a wonderful place of affirmation and connection. It can also be a place where people are torn down and belittled. Its something we all experience here. However I say lets use it to shine the light of our lives and to help brighten the lives of others. Keep on blogging my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Daisy9979 · May 31, 2015

      Well said! I’m going to keep on keepin’ on and see where this blogging journey leads me 😀

      Like

  2. keen peach · May 30, 2015

    Lol! I love this! I am always wondering if people know I’m joking too. Especially since I’m ALWAYS joking.
    I love our blogging community. It’s like we’re friends!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Daisy9979 · May 31, 2015

      It is like we’re friends! 🙂 I’m definitely more comfortable commenting to people I know or have a rapport with since they have an understanding of my personality and writing style.
      I’m reaching a place where I just want to have fun with it and not stress.

      Liked by 1 person

      • keen peach · May 31, 2015

        Definitely! I know that is definitely why I don’t move forward with self hosting. I am scared I will all of a sudden hate blogging and I do love it so much.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Just Breathe... · May 30, 2015

    I can really relate to how you feel. I’m always worried about what people will think. I haven’t told any friends about my blog for fear of them judging me. I have lots of things that I want to write about, but worry that people will judge me and think I’m strange or stupid! Like you I am trying to push myself. I have noticed that when I have written something that I have been unsure of whether I really wanted to, has been when I have received beautiful comments and likes, not many, but enough to reassure myself. Keep trying. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Daisy9979 · May 31, 2015

      Thanks for commenting. It took me months before I told anyone about my blog and even now I keep it to a couple close friends and immediate family. I shared with my mom, then my brother and his wife, a cousin, and my best friend but that’s it because I don’t want to feel restricted by what I write about or worry about offending someone close to me. I keep a poetry blog separate because it tends to be a bit darker and I think they would be okay but I don’t want them to worry.
      Keep pushing yourself! 🙂 I find I grow more confident each time I push myself and step outside of my comfort zone.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. miusho · May 30, 2015

    I used to be unable to write emails. And the stuff you go through? Yeah. Been there too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Daisy9979 · May 31, 2015

      I spent about 15 minutes the other day writing a 2 sentence email. It was part of a job application so I wanted to make sure it was perfect but that might have been an excessive amount of time to spend on it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • miusho · May 31, 2015

        I learned not to think too much about what to write. The more I think, the worse it gets. Thinking just makes some things worse..

        Liked by 1 person

  5. lovetotrav · May 30, 2015

    I do understand exactly what you are saying. I am not a particularly shy or anxious person but I have never liked FB and wondered what blogging would be like instead. I find blogging more real and more interactive than FB. I tend to comment on other’s blogs but rarely would on FB. I remember my first comment on my blog and didn’t know what to do either… from a technical point of view… that part stressed me out more in the beginning because I just didn’t “get” how the reader worked, how the comment section worked etc. In 3 months, I have come a long ways and feel less apprehensive now than I did in March. The A to Z challenge in April did wonders for me in learning how the community worked. And for me, and it sounds like for you, it has worked well.

    Like

    • Daisy9979 · May 31, 2015

      I’m not really shy but I do get anxiety but I seem to do better in person because I can see the other person, their body language, and just prefer the face to face interaction. Blogging is definitely more real and interactive than Facebook. I’d forgotten about the nerves over the technical aspect and I feel like I continue to learn more about blogging each week. I constantly find myself tweaking and revising my blog as I learn something new.
      I’d never heard of the A to Z challenge but it sounds like fun. I did a quick tag search and it looks like there’s some different versions of them so I might join into one.

      Liked by 1 person

      • lovetotrav · May 31, 2015

        I think the main one takes place every April from what I could tell. Many signed up but many just did it on their own as well. It really builds a sense of community quickly. Have a great day!

        Liked by 1 person

Share your thoughts...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s