Whining & Sharing Pictures

Today is one of those days.  I’m struggling.  It’s like I’m not completely focused on anything.

I think I have at least 3 different projects going on….well, I just started a post so now I have 4. Okay, I quit some of the other projects now to focus on my post so I’m done in time to watch Judge Judy (Don’t judge me.  She’s awesomely entertaining 😛 )

It shouldn’t take almost an hour to post an album on Facebook but I’m so easily distracted.  I went to look up the names of lilies then got sidetracked looking up other flowers and before I knew it so much time had passed but it’s done.  I have pics up on my Facebook page but here’s a couple of the lilies I was researching.  The featured image shows the fields of lilies.  They were stunning!  I could have spent hours photographing just lilies.

1 Pink Lily1 Yellow Lily2

I went to meet someone to sell something I listed online but didn’t realize they were meeting me on Thursday until after I sent a message saying I was waiting then had to send another message explaining I messed up and would see them on Thursday.  Nothing like walking a mile in 90 degree weather carrying an 18 x 24 inch picture frame 🙄

I went to send another message to someone forgetting you hit enter to send, so I sent someone half a message then had to finish it in another message quickly.

I just hate stuff like that because I don’t want people to judge me.  I know that sounds silly but it’s true especially when corresponding with people I don’t know I really agonize over everything I type.

Now that I’ve complained about those couple things I realize everything really isn’t that bad.  It’s funny how sometimes you can amplify the little things in your mind but when you write them out or try to explain them to someone you realize…..the stuff you’re whining about or freaking out over is kind of petty, okay really petty.

I’m just allowing myself to feel overwhelmed by my situation.  I was so energized and optimistic when I came home from the interview but now every day that passes without hearing anything I lose hope.  I’m really trying but it’s a constant struggle.  I seem to do best when I stay busy so I’m planning a quick walk tonight after dinner.

Tomorrow I don’t have anything planned yet but I think I’m going to go to the gym then head out to the gallery to see if I’ve sold anything yet, maybe swing by the salon too.  I need to drop off my Goodwill donations.  Look at that, once I start thinking of things to do I can come up with all kinds of stuff, think I’ll start a list while I watch Judge Judy 😀

Here’s a few more pics from my walk yesterday plus a pic of the baby quail I saw this morning!  I know the people following on Facebook and Instagram have seen these but the baby quail is worth seeing again, so cute!

1 Quail BabyS1 Gardens Moonunset with the moon overlooking the fields1 Sunset Tree V.1 Sunset with trees1 Violet Flowers Venosa Violacea, beautiful vine flowers.  I love purple so these are my new favorites.  1 Dandelion SunThis is one of my all-time favorite pictures.  I was just glad it came out the way I wanted it to and can’t wait to make this one into a large print.

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Meal Plan Monday-The Late Night Edition

It’s not as racy or exciting as the title sounds, literally just me writing my meal plan at 9:00 at night because I spent 2 hours instead of 1 hour at the Arboretum tonight but it was so beautiful!!!!  I can’t wait to show off some of the pictures!

Tonight I stopped by my friend’s place to feed her cats.  She said she had a timed feeder so I only needed to stop by every couple days but when I got to the house I thought the cats were going to eat me.  They were crying and running to where their food was, which I thought was excessive for cats who had simply missed breakfast.

Unfortunately I found out when I went to refill the food that the timer didn’t work or something so the cats actually hadn’t eaten for 2 days, technically not my fault but I still felt really bad.  I’m going to go back by in the morning to see how things are going and make sure her cats don’t starve while she’s out of town.

Anyways, since I was out tonight I thought it would be nice to go to the Arboretum for a walk because with the exception of Saturday morning I spent most of the weekend hiding in my apartment.  I feel so much better.  The walk and taking pictures did me good.  Tomorrow I’m gonna go to the gym in the morning since I have a couple errands on that side of town, always helps me when that happens.

I’m trying to save all my pennies right now because my unemployment pay is starting to run out so I’m skipping this week.  Thankfully I sold a couple things I’d listed online and might even have a lady interested in buying a print of one of my photos but I think it’s going to end up being too expensive.  I’m going to put together a quote for her and see what happens.

I have to incorporate my penny saving into my meal plans so I’ll use some of the money from tomorrow to buy a couple of things but mostly trying to live off what I’ve got on hand for the next week or so.  Not a super creative meal plan, very similar to last week, but I’ll cook a chicken breast tomorrow because it will feed me for at least 3 days, then I already have a back of tofu, so I’ll just need to buy some veggies and pasta then I’ll be set.  🙂

T:  Chicken, rice, and veggies
W:  Chicken, pasta, and veggies
T:  Chicken salad
F:  Tofu BBQ sandwich…Take 2…I didn’t love this last time but I’m willing to give it or some variation of it another try
S:  Breakfast for dinner
S:  Stuffed peppers that I never tried from last week’s meal plan

I actually just remembered I might be gone this weekend but I might have to stay home.  If I get the job I’ll be preparing to move.  If I don’t get the job I’ll be wallowing in misery….just kidding…okay, I might wallow for a little bit but then I need to pick myself back up and put together a serious game plan so either way I might be home but the weekend plans sound so fun.  I’ll just do what I do best and play it by ear.

Hope everyone had a fabulous Monday!

How I Feel Today….

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

This is how I feel today.

For the sake of my stomach I hope I get an answer about this job soon.  The waiting has my stomach tied up in knots and makes my mind restless.  Last week the only scenario I could see was getting the job, now I’m beginning to see the other possibility.  I’m preparing for both and making myself crazy in the meantime.

Left to my own devices I begin to imagine all the worst things that could happen.  I begin to play out unrealistic scenarios in my head like the one where they send me an email or call saying “No job for you.” (Said just like the Soup Nazi) or the one where my references say terrible things about me.  I think I’m letting it overwhelm me and make me physically sick.

I always do my best to remain optimistic but some days it’s tough to get out of your own head.

It’s the not knowing.  I could get a response today or not.  They might e-mail me.  They might call me.  I could be moving soon.  I could be staying here and trying to do whatever I need to do so I don’t end up living in my car.  I’m being dramatic………I would end up living with my parents.  (Hi Mom! I’ll let you know when I’m on my way).  This time just gives me the opportunity to continue to over analyze every little thing from the interview.

This morning it was wondering if how I walked down the hall to the room was some kind of test because she walked behind me giving me directions instead of leading the way to the room.  Even if this was some strange test I think I did okay even though I did hesitate in a couple of spots but I kept expecting her to get in front of me…..Uggggghhhhhhhh!  These are the kind of things I’m pondering.

My hermit tendencies aren’t helping matters in any way.  I get stressed and I go into hibernation mode.

Today I’m forcing myself to get out of the house for a little bit, going to run a few errands this morning then I have to swing by my friend’s place tonight to feed her cats while she’s out of town so that will get me out twice.  I was going to try to combine all the errands into one then realized that was ridiculous especially when I live in a town where it typically takes 5 minutes or less to drive anywhere in town.

I think when I go to feed the cats I’ll either go to the gym or go to the arboretum for a walk but we’ll see what the day brings.  Writing has renewed my optimism so I think I’m done wallowing in self-pity and worry for the moment.  I know sitting around in the house making myself crazy isn’t helping anything so it’s time to put on some real clothes, maybe a bit of makeup, (I’ve been wearing pajamas for almost 2 days straight) and get out into the outside.  It’s not quite as hot today so I don’t think I’ll melt.

Happy Monday!  Here’s to once again hoping I’ll be reporting good news soon!