I have so many things to do today but little to no motivation, actually I do have some motivation just not enough motivation to step away from the computer, get dressed, and leave the apartment. The problem is I have to leave the apartment to accomplish a few of the things on my list today.
I finished the greeting cards for my sister-in-law (finally!) so I need to mail them now. I need more labels. I need some groceries to get me through dinners this week. That’s really it. I need to go to 3 places, errands that would take maybe an hour but I would have to put on real clothes, sleeping shorts and a tank top just aren’t gonna cut it for going outside.
Speaking of tank tops….I mentioned I went shopping on Sunday with a friend even though I’m poor. She was looking for a dress to wear for a wedding at the end of the month I decided if anything I would search for some tank tops because my summer work out wardrobe and regular wardrobe are lacking in cooler apparel.
I found a few that will work but was surprised to see nearly every single workout tank top was a racer back, which doesn’t completely work for me because I have to wear a regular bra. I finally just had to accept that straps are gonna show but I wear a cami to hide the straps and also to prevent sideboob because the arm holes hang down so low. Maybe this is just the style and I need to adjust but I wanted what I envision in my mind as normal tank tops.
Part of it is just I haven’t really worn tank tops or sleeveless anything for awhile so I think it’s also learning to accept my bare arms, which sounds weird but when you’ve spent summer in t-shirts or trying to find little cover ups so you don’t have to show your whole arms the sleeveless thing feels a bit strange. The other night it was still in the 80’s when I went out for a walk I was nervous about wearing a tank top just going around my neighborhood but it was so hot I couldn’t hide under a sweatshirt.
I started this as a rant about tank tops but I find the post leading in a more positive direction because I will say that once I got dressed I realized it wasn’t that bad. I was wearing clothes that fit, nothing hanging out, so I was fine. I actually felt pretty good in what I was wearing and even took a pictures I don’t hate (ignore the mess). Once I stepped out the door I realized I was fine I think partially because I was in my element, outside, walking, taking pictures, having fun.
The more things I do, the more fears I conquer , the more I find my confidence growing and the less I find myself caring what people might be thinking. I’m certainly not completely cured because everyone has their self-conscious moments but I’m trying not to let that fear of judgement stop me from doing certain things or wearing certain things.
I think seeing the changes in my body and knowing I’m continuing to work on improving helps.
I’ll have one more quick post because I got some exciting news but I want it separate from this then I am getting myself out the door. Hope everyone is having a great Wednesday! 🙂