The Purple Haired Seattle Bus Driver

When I was in high school one of my dreams was to move to Seattle, dye my hair purple, pierce my nose and eyebrow, and become a bus driver.  You probably wouldn’t guess that if you met me today.  As a teenager growing up in the era of grunge I was obsessed with individuality, creativity, and uniqueness.

I idolized characters in movies like “Reality Bites”, “Empire Records”, and “Singles”.

I wanted to be Leilana trying to figure out her life while ignoring her feelings for Troy or Janet pining over Cliff while also starting to find her own self-worth or most importantly Cory realizing Rex Manning is not so sexy and that she really loves AJ, although I was actually crushing on Mark.

It’s interesting how our dreams and priorities shift.  Bus driver is not on my list of career choices right now.  As an adult that sounds terrifying but as a teenager I romanticized the idea as a way to meet cool people and drive around the best city in the world all day.  When you’re younger it’s easy to ignore reality especially if your parents are trying to tell you about those realities because as a teenager the last thing you want to do is listen to your parents.

I would tell my mom I could do whatever I wanted even if I did have piercings and purple hair.  People shouldn’t judge me on my appearance……then I started working and realized yes, the world is going to judge on appearance.  I still don’t think it should be that way and the world is more accepting but the reality is in certain professions extreme hair colors, piercings, and tattoos are not going to be accepted.

When I reflect on the past I feel like some part of me has betrayed the 16-year-old version of myself.  Yesterday as I was doing the dishes after dinner I had some thoughts and wrote them down:

“I sometimes feel like a contradiction because I want to be unique but I also want to be normal.  Growing up, be the free spirit and the responsible adult.  Stability.”

I think I’ve always felt the contradiction between what I perceived as unique and normal.  I wore crazy clothes but was a cheerleader.  I played softball but also did musical theater.  After being a bus driver my other dream was to play softball in college and become a prison psychologist.

I’ve kind of always struggled with feeling like I had to make a choice between creative and conservative, like they were two separate paths that never merged.  I either had to be responsible or a free spirit.

I think I’ve finally found a place where I have a bit of both.

I still want to dye my hair purple but I also want to get a job (so I’m thinking a really dark can’t tell if it’s really purple color). My style is more conservative but I mix it up with unique pieces.  I still want to live in Seattle but I realize I might not be living right in the middle of the city.  My life is not filled with crazy, movie-style shenanigans and romances but it is filled with great moments and great friends.

Becoming an adult can sometimes feel like you’re losing a part of yourself but I’m starting to realize I’m still me.  I’m finally coming to accept that changing up my style or pursuing new dreams is not betraying my former self because she’s still there just a bit more toned down.

I’m learning to accept all the parts of me, the free spirit and the conservative, although I am going to let go of the bus driver part 😉

Image from Flickr

Advertisements

6 comments

  1. Constructing Carrie · July 6, 2015

    Good call on dropping the bus driver gig. God bless the people who do it, but that is just not a safe profession at all! 😉 As for the purple hair…do it! (How sad that it’s acceptable when you’re young and acceptable when you’re old, but never in that whole middle range…humph!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Daisy9979 · July 7, 2015

      I’m still not sure what I was thinking on that one but it makes a great family story, lol. Kudos to the people that do that job everyday.
      I wish I’d done the purple hair back in December but maybe once I get settled in a job I’ll be able to do the subtle purple. It’s really not fair that crazy hair colors seem to have age limits and job restrictions, sometimes it’s no fun being responsible.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. briana1010 · July 6, 2015

    Oh man, I’m feelin this so much right now, particularly as I am buying a condo (what happened to leaving everything and moving to Germany?! Or Seattle?)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. miusho · July 6, 2015

    I had purple hair and it was beautiful. It edged more towards a dark red though.
    Never wanted a job that required contact with other humans. The mere thought of it. Ew. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • Daisy9979 · July 6, 2015

      I think I want more violet black so it’s subtle, soon I will have it, although if I would’ve know I was going to be not working for this long I should have just gone bright purple 😛
      The thought of being a bus driver now is both ridiculous and terrifying especially in a major city….I don’t know what I was thinking, ha ha XD

      Liked by 1 person

      • miusho · July 6, 2015

        Any purple is nice I think. 😛 And so true, you’ve had all this time and still no purple hair! What a waste! 😀
        Good dreams some dreams stay just that.. dreams…

        Liked by 1 person

Share your thoughts...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s