Yesterday morning as I hit snooze for the 4th time and finally awoke from a dream so real I would’ve sworn I was already dressed and headed out the door to work out I realized this early morning workout might not work for me right now but I did try….kind of…. 🙄
I instead decided while the weather is still nice I should take advantage of “the outside” and go for a walk after work. My motivations for working out have always been:
- Weight Loss
A few years ago I would’ve reversed the two but now health is the priority and weight loss is a positive side effect but today I want to add a third motivation:
3. Stress Relief
Yesterday for the first time I had to deal with a few very unpleasant aspects of my job. I made a mistake and my boss was completely okay with it, even told me I was doing a good job but I beat myself up to the point of emotional frailty. I was at the point where one more thing and I was going to burst into tears but instead of stepping out of the office for a break I made the error of wallowing in my mistake, even though I’m old enough to know better.
One more thing happened and I found myself in tears in my office trying to figure out how to escape without anyone seeing me, whereas if I’d just taken a break a couple hours ago when I first started feeling bad I might have avoided finding myself in the scenario of trying to plan an escape route. The problem is you have to check out when you leave the building but I got out, driving aimlessly crying for a few minutes when I impulsively decided to stop at Trader Joe’s.
For some reason I decided the key to calming my frazzled mind was a walk through the well-maintained, although slightly crowded with old ladies who refuse to let you walk by them as they aimlessly wheel their shopping carts side to side, aisles of Trader Joe’s. Actually, I’d never been in one before but wanted to try a recipe with chia seeds so in my distressed state some part of my mind went “Trader Joe’s should have chia seeds” I’m pretty sure it was my mind’s way of distracting me from my current emotions…and it worked. Well played, mind……..
I survived my bad day but still feel a bit emotionally worn out so I’m trying early bed times, exercise, eating real food, lots of writing, reading, and finding some projects to keep me busy. Some downtime is okay but I can’t have too much sit and dwell time because that’s exactly what I’ll do every time.
This post went a completely different direction from the workout update I intended to write but that’s what happens sometimes. Basically I’ll be skipping the AM workouts for now but doing nightly walks as long as the weather allows then hitting up the fitness center because the workouts are a must for my physical and mental health.