Changing My Ways

….or trying to anyways.

I’m starting my new position at the end of next week so I’m trying to write all the reports I’ve already been assigned so I don’t have to pass off my work to anyone else.  I’m very eager to start this new job.  I love the job I’m doing now, love the people I’m working with, and I haven’t really been in the position long enough to feel bored but this change is exciting.

Starting a new job gives you an opportunity to evaluate yourself.

New challenges are refreshing and invigorating. Working with new people in a new environment doing a job that’s so vastly different from what you’ve done all your life makes you recognize both your strengths and weaknesses.  I realize one of my struggles is a fear of failure and fear of making mistakes.  The perfectionist in me is terrified of saying the wrong thing, writing the wrong thing in an email or report, missing a deadline, missing a step in some process, asking a silly question, etc…

Recognizing this in myself reminds me why being a perfectionist is both a strength and a weakness.  It sometimes causes me to hesitate, to question myself, to dwell and to worry.  I try to plan for everything in a job where the next step often depends on the behavior of other people, which is not always predictable.  I often talk about my rational and irrational mind. Rationally, I know mistakes happen, everyone makes mistakes sometimes but in my irrational mind mistakes are unacceptable.  I used to think it was just a fear of getting in trouble but I realize it’s much deeper than that, it’s a fear of disappointing other people, fear of disappointing myself.

On performance reviews at my previous jobs the areas I always needed to work on were delegation (How can a perfectionist trust someone else to do something?) and decision-making (I was told to trust myself and my decision making process).  Sadly these things are still an issue for me but I feel like I’m finally at the place in my life where I can make progress on changing these things about myself.

Will I ever completely give up my perfectionist, control freak ways?  No, but I can allow myself to make mistakes sometimes just to show myself that I will survive.  I can try to worry less about making the wrong decision and learn to trust my instincts.  People put me in the job I’m in right now because they trust my abilities so I need to have faith in my own ability and be confident.

Feel free to share your thoughts.  Any fellow perfectionists out there who face the same struggles?  Or maybe some who have found a way to let go of some of the need for perfection?

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6 comments

  1. joewriteshiswrongs · November 15, 2015

    Positivity breeds positivity

    Like

  2. FreeBryd · November 12, 2015

    Yay! Congrats on your new job. I’m also a perfectionist, and have recently started a new job as well. Sending good vibes your way! It’s very exciting, because it’s like you get to start over in a way. Enjoy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Daisy9979 · November 14, 2015

      Thanks! Being a perfectionist can be a blessing and a curse, lol but I’m trying to learn to keep it in the place of being a positive trait.
      It definitely feels like a new start and I’m so excited for the change. Congrats on starting your new job! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • FreeBryd · November 14, 2015

        Good for you! Keep those positive traits haha. Thanks for the well wishes.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. miusho · November 11, 2015

    What’s perfect for you may not be perfect for someone else and vice versa.. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  4. keen peach · November 11, 2015

    I don’t know if we ever really give up our perfectionist ways but I sure as heck know you aren’t alone in the matter. I didn’t even realize that I am a perfectionist because I can’t seem to keep my house clean and I always figured perfectionists have clean houses lol.
    Good luck! I did read once where starting new things like new positions or moving to a new house are the best times for you to begin a diet and fitness routine because you have the best chance of being successful. Who knows if it’s true but I can say that this has happened for me more than once.

    Like

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