I planned to write more this week but it ended up being a rough week and a worse weekend, so this post is a little sad.
I started out the week ambitious despite the one thing hanging over my head.
I tracked what I’d eaten the week before and forced myself to look at what and how much food I was actually consuming. Starting off the new week I set goals for my eating and continued to track food and exercise. I was doing good. I managed to pay off some bills. I was feeling good. I was going to start looking at cars.
Saturday before my ambitious new week started I’d taken James the cat into the vet because he’d been acting a bit odd and wasn’t really eating. Bloodwork revealed nothing. Unfortunately his hunger strike continued so I had to take him back to the vet for the next level of testing, an ultrasound. Good news/Bad news….nothing.
Nothing on the second round of blood work. Nothing on the x-rays.
The vet told me it’s most likely his FIV (feline version of HIV) is progressing and there’s not much to do but work on finding ways to get him eating….and some other things I didn’t want to hear. I wanted, “He has this and here is the cure. He’ll be better in a few days” Sadly, what I’ve been crying about all weekend is the fact that we might be nearing the end of his life.
Every time I see him eating I feel a glimmer of hope then he decides not to eat again and curls back up in bed. He’s lost so much weight but even in the face of the negative I remain optimistic because I just don’t know and the vets didn’t seem to know either.
I cancelled my plans to go visit family for the weekend, which made me very sad but I felt like I needed to be home. I couldn’t afford to leave him hospitalized for 4 days and didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone even though he’s mostly just sleeping.
He’s basically one spoiled kitty right now because he’s being offered every kind of food I can find in an effort to spark his appetite. One day he’ll eat a bit of canned food, yesterday it was turkey lunch meat, today it was tuna and dry Friskies treats. Hopefully he’ll eat some more later.
Most of the time I’m begging for a weekend at home with nothing to do but binge watch TV but I was really looking forward to a weekend away and think I really needed it;however, this is more important right now.
I’m hoping to get meal plans up tomorrow. I’m going to be doing no shopping and cleaning out the pantry this week.
In the meantime, I’m back to cat watching and holding onto hope that he turns the corner in a positive direction soon 🙂