The big event overwhelming my thoughts lately is the 10K I have coming up in February.
I’m nervous. I’m terrified. I’m scared I won’t be able to finish.
There’s a little voice inside cheering me on and reminding me that I can do anything I set my mind to but it’s tough to hear over the screaming voice going, “What the hell were you thinking?!?”
My last 5K was a challenge because I didn’t train, or even bother to go to the gym in the weeks leading up to it. In my defense, cat was sick, I was sick, cat died, I was sad, I got sick again….therefore the gym slipped to the bottom of the priority list. Shin splints kicked in shortly into the race and at the end I was just happy it was over so I’m struggling to get that memory out of my head because it’s feeding my doubt.
Getting back into the gym today was a great first step to overcoming my doubts. The longer you’re out of the gym the easier it is to not go back. Today my excuse was that I needed to get home to make meal plans and do meal prep….so of course I couldn’t spend 30 minutes at the gym….it’s certainly not like I would’ve wasted 3o minutes online…..
I argued with myself and thankfully by the end of my work day I was at the gym.
I downloaded a couch to 10K app to see if it would help. Day 1 was challenging. 60 seconds of jogging, 90 seconds of walking for 20 minutes. By the time I was done I was a sweaty, red faced, panting mess, but I finished and it felt good to finish the workout. I’m going to keep up with this program because I have several things to keep me going.
- Great support. I’m doing the 10K with a friend and we’re looking to do 2-5K’s in January….one is a virtual race through work and another is a memorial run for an officer from the local prison.
- More support. We’re starting a Biggest Loser competition at work so this will help with the eating because most everyone in my office is looking to get healthy.
- A competitive spirit. Basically, failure is not an option. I’m not looking to be the fastest. I’m looking to finish and to hopefully not be the last one to finish.
- Despite my negativity I have a desire right now to see how far I can push myself. Today was day one in my experiment to see what my body can do and it was successful. I wasn’t perfect but I was there doing my best.
On that note I’ll touch quickly on one of my own personal hurdles, self-consciousness. The fear of being the fat girl on the treadmill. The fear of judgement.
I thought of this meme. I thought if someone really wants to judge me that’s more their problem than mine. I also reminded myself of what I already know, most people are too focused on themselves and their own workout to waste time judging someone else.
Expect more posts as I go through this program. I’ll be coming out with meal plans next week because I can run all I want but if I’m eating terrible it’s all for nothing.
Hope everyone had a lovely holiday! I’ve got to pack my lunch and my gym bag for tomorrow. 🙂