Today I was going to write my meal plans but instead I’ve decided to eat frozen pizza and have a pity party.
In some ways I set myself up to not have a good day. I placed my negative, I hate everything, energy out into the universe and the universe complied. I proclaimed, “I hate Tuesdays!” “Tuesdays are never good days!” The day really didn’t start out that bad (and there were good things but I’m doing the wrong thing and ignoring them right now) but all the little things began to get to me.
I was a few minutes late so there was no parking and I had to park in a spot I don’t like to park (but still close to the office).
I did something wrong (but was able to fix it and no one yelled at me).
I made phone calls I didn’t want to make to plan things I don’t really want to do tomorrow (even though they get me out of the office).
The thing that pushed me over the edge was finding out that as of right now I am not going to training. There’s a big training for my position and everyone does it but open spots are limited and primarily based on hire date. As I heard the announcement in my co-worker’s office I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. I keep telling myself it’s not that big of a deal. I will get to go, it’s required training but for some reason finding out made me feel like doing this….Okay, maybe not that extreme but I do feel like having a good cry because even though my rational mind knows I will be going in my own time, PMS mind (ie irrational mind) is convinced I’m being left out of everything and everyone hates me hence the pity party.
I tried to shop out my emotions but quickly realized trying to cheer myself up by trying on clothes while my body is bloated up was not the best plan. I was persistent but not successful plus for some reason my stomach was growling and grumbling loudly (that was an awkward dressing room moment) because I didn’t eat any real food today other than some oatmeal this morning.
As usual when I write it out it’s not that bad but I’m still going to catch up on Grey’s Anatomy to see if I can get the inevitable cry over with before I head back to work tomorrow. This is one of the quotes I remind myself of on days like this, cry it out, get over the emotions, and get back on track.
I think the training thing is we were all kind of on equal ground, even though they all came in about a month before me, because we hadn’t been to this training and now I just feel like I’m going to be even more behind everyone else. I have to remind myself that things happen for a reason and happen when they’re meant to happen.
Everything will work out but in the meantime I’m going to wallow just a smidge longer in my pity. I plan to enjoy my cheesy pizza and cheesy TV dramas this evening, then pick myself up and face the world tomorrow.
**update** I burned my arm on the stove. The pizza cooked funny and made my oven start smoking. The smart hub on my TV isn’t working. I’m settling for a book and an early bedtime because….