Whiny Weight Gain Wednesday

Ugggghhhhh……I’m skipping Working Wardrobe Wednesday this week because I ran into a bit of a snag this week. I realized 2 things this morning as I began to pile hangers and discarded clothes onto my bed.

  1.  I realized planning my wardrobe for the week really is a good idea.
  2. I realized I was facing the same dilemma as Austin Powers faced in one of his movies,

“I lost my mojo”


Perhaps Dr. Evil stole it……(Now I just want to watch Austin Powers movies)  Anyways, I’ve been feeling super cute and confident in all my work clothes over the last few weeks but this week I felt like I’d lost my mojo, or my groove, or whatever you choose to call it.

Gone was the confidence replaced with feeling like a short, boring, blob.  I tried on at least 4 different outfits this morning and hated all of them even outfits I’d loved in the past were discarded to the rejection pile.  I proclaimed each outfit to be more dreary than the next

I’ve been racking my brain all morning trying to figure out what’s going on with me.  I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I might simply be having an off week.  There’s no rule that says because I have confidence in myself I’m not going to ever feel any shred of doubt or have days where I feel fat or unattractive.  I was going to say ugly but I find that word to be so harsh and I don’t really feel ugly just not well put together, a little “off my game” lol.

Today I’ve resigned myself to gray slacks, black thermal, and the same dark purple cardigan I wore yesterday.

Warm, comfortable, and a bit dreary…….

That was yesterday.

This morning I felt the weight gain before I even pulled out the scale.  I don’t know why but I feel like I have a better understanding of my body now to the point where I could tell I had gained about 3 pounds.  Poor eating habits over the weekend trickled over into the first part of the week, not completely but I definitely had a few things I knew I should be avoiding.  Also, I haven’t been working out consistently.

The sad part was what happened this morning.  I stepped on the scale, saw that I had gained 3 pounds, and the first words out of my mouth were “I guess I need to quit eating” o_O  Not, “I should probably get off my ass at night or in the morning and work out” or “Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten 3 slices of pizza for dinner last night” or “I need to start walking more”

Nope, it was that I should stop eating.  That makes sense 🙄

Instead of thinking about the healthy changes I could make in my life I decided in that instant the best choice was to cut off all forms of nourishment.  I know it was an exaggeration but right after I said it I realized I still have a ways to go in changing my mindset.

Plan of action is to get the eating fully back on track, reading labels, watching sugars, not allowing myself to fall into the quick, easy, processed food trap (it’s so easy when you’re busy and working), and start trying some new foods again.  I’m in a new city with a greater variety of grocery shopping locations, plus being in a different region gives me food options I wouldn’t find in other places.  For example, close to the ocean means lots of seafood options so I need to start checking out new recipes.

Also, get into some kind of workout routine!!!!!

It really is challenging because after work I don’t feel like doing anything but I know I would feel better if I worked out so I think I might give early morning workouts a try.  It’s a quick walk to the fitness center at my place so since I still have two more workdays this week I’m going to commit to giving it a try tomorrow morning plus a bit of floor work and strength training tonight.

I think I’m done whining and have put together a solid plan to get myself back on track because I’ve been feeling so good I don’t want to throw away all my progress.  If you’re made it this far thanks for reading my whiny post and hope everyone is having a great week! 😀

Working Wardrobe Wednesday

Every so often I come up with an idea, put it out there for the world then think….Wait a minute, do I really want to do this?

That’s how I feel about this new post idea.  I was really excited last night then this morning doubt arrived making me question if this was really a good idea.  I finally reminded myself that I’m not signing a contract obligating me to write this post each week and if I don’t like it I won’t do it anymore.

Problem solved, now onto the post.

For 12 years going to work every day required a uniform, black slacks, black shoes, and whatever shirt corporate decided we should be wearing that month.  Not excessive but I did go through at least 5 different shirt changes during my career.  As a full time employee every time this happened I was getting rid of 5-6 shirts and replacing them (often out of my own pocket) with 5-6 new shirts….I’m glad to be done with the uniform.

If you follow me you know I’ve made serious changes in my life, career change, lifestyle change, and change of location.  I’ve found new confidence and over the last year gone from obsessing over what I wear because of my weight to obsessing over what I wear because I’m loving my body right now (not all the time, I’m not a robot but more good days than bad).

Here’s the lowdown on me and the body I’m dressing:

I’m short, 5’3″-5’5″ depending on what day you ask me 😉 (5’3″) and wear size 18/20

I don’t think because you’re overweight you should resign yourself to moo-moos, smocks, or potato sacks.  People don’t always believe it but wearing fitted clothes (and by this I simply mean clothes that fit) can make you look slimmer.  I’m not saying you should run out and buy all the skin hugging shirts you can find because you also need to wear what makes you feel comfortable but I’m just saying give it a try.

Just like food the only way you’ll know if you like something is to give it a try.  I’ve grabbed something off the rack thinking I was going to love it but it ended up looking awful so I thought couldn’t that same thing work in reverse.  I don’t grab things I hate but I will grab clothes I might think won’t work just to see.  It doesn’t usually hurt to try something on…unless you get trapped in a shirt….not that it’s ever happened to me 🙄

I was a little disappointed when I found out my dress code is more casual so no dresses or skirts and more jeans.  It’s professional but because of certain aspects I have to be able to move.  I’m not a jeans and t-shirt kind of person so with this new job I’m trying to balance a kind of girly style with business casual and ready to move.  The other thing is the office is cold but outside is hot so light sweaters or layers have been my go-tos.

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My first day I wanted to be kind of dressy since I was meeting people for the first time but I did know the dress code was more on the casual side of business casual so I didn’t want to show up in a suit or anything too fancy.

Left:  I opted for black cropped slacks and a light sweater with a fun pattern.

Right:  I finally got a chance to wear my fun flowered sweater with the same black pants this week.

The cropped black pants were an experiment but I really like them because they’re comfortable and can easily be dressed up or down.  The first day outfit with heels and a blazer would move me into a more professional look so it’s a versatile piece.  Versatile pieces are key to a great wardrobe.FullSizeRender (10)

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Left:  Striped sparkly sweater with skinny jeans and flats.  Skinny jeans were one of those things I thought I would never wear because I’m not skinny but I love them, so comfortable and flattering.

Right:  Today was a rough day, didn’t feel good so I went pretty casual with a striped 3/4 length tee and black cardigan with jeans and sneakers.

Don’t judge me too harshly or laugh too much at the last picture where I look like I have to pee, lol XD

I’m still working on this fashion selfie thing but I’ll get the hang of it.  I’m mostly worried I won’t have enough content because I don’t have enough of a wardrobe but part of my angle is you don’t have to have a huge wardrobe to dress nice and have variety.

Hope you enjoy!  I’m always open to feedback and comments 🙂

A New Chapter

You’ve got this dream.
You work hard for it.
You plan.
You wait.
You wait some more.
Okay…you wait a little bit longer.
Finally! It happens!
You have what you wanted but for some reason instead of the insane excitement you thought you would feel you feel scared……

Don’t get me wrong.  I am excited and can’t wait to start this job.  It’s the job I’ve wanted for years.  I think it’s just that evil little creature known as Doubt and his sidekick Fear, creeping into my mind making me question if I can really do this, the job, the move, everything.

Today it hit me the reason I’ve been saying the words “I’m so excited” but thinking “I’m so scared” is because I have some part of my mind that never thought this would really happen.  Despite all my optimism and positive thinking some part of my brain was convinced I couldn’t do it.  When I realized this it bothered me because it made me think if everyone else believes you can do this….Why don’t you?

I began to picture the evil creature, Doubt, resting on my shoulder, whispering in my ear, telling me I’m not good enough, not smart enough, not worthy of this type of opportunity.  It made me both sad and angry.

I think I began this journey full of optimism for the future but as time wore on Doubt began to get louder and louder.  I started to go backwards.  I began to question myself, question if my dreams were too big, question if I should just settle, a miserable job is better than no job, right?

When I told someone I was thinking about taking a retail job I think their response was “Even though you told me it would kill your soul”  Yes.  I was willing to go back to a job I hated because I didn’t believe in myself enough, because I allowed Doubt to overtake my mind.

Now I’m realizing I actually need to get things done.  I’m going to have a schedule.  After almost 8 months of not working I have to go to work.  It’s not that I don’t want to go back to work.  I definitely want to go back to work but after all this time not working and then going back in a completely different field I’m a little scared.

It’s tough to admit how strange this is and right now I’m still struggling a bit to grasp that this is really happening.  Everything that’s happened over the last few days feels like a dream.  I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think about is how everything is changing.  I just have to remind myself that even though I’ll be facing new challenges everything will be changing for the better.

I feel like I’m coming up on the end of this chapter of my life and as I get closer to the end it’s inspiring a range of emotions. Even though I’m ready to move forward it’s tough to not feel some sort of sentiment as I finish up this chapter in my life and prepare for the next step.

Not to go too deeply into the chapter metaphor but it does feel like I’m writing the last few sentences in the chapter titled “Unemployment” but now I need to start work on the next chapter.  I don’t have a title for it yet but I’m going to do my best to leave Doubt and Fear in the past and make this new chapter even more amazing 🙂

My writing is going to be hit and miss over the next few weeks.  I’ll still be reading and commenting just might not be writing everyday.

Thanks for following along with me on my journey!   ❤